Picture a world where pets had texting phones. What would their messages look like? Are we talking 100 texts a day? Would they use emojis properly, or would your dog end up ordering 50 pounds of treats on Amazon by mistake?
Our pets, to be truthful, have a lot on their minds, albeit most of them would boil down to whining about something. If you’ve experienced that gnawing feeling that your delicately furry (or, for that matter, feathery) companion is evaluating your actions, then you are indeed right. This is exactly how texting would have looked for them.
1. Dogs: “The vacuum is a weapon.”
Text: “You brought out the vacuum again, I swear I saw my life flashing before my eyes. I thought you adored me.
What it means: Doesn’t matter how many different ways you put it, dogs will always look at a vacuum as something out to get them.
What happens next?
2. Dogs: “Explain Yourself, Hooman”
Text: “No seriously ‘why did you say wanna go for a walk’ and yet you put on your shoes THEN TURNED FOR THE DOOR WITHOUT ME. That is impolite, I repeat, rude. All of it is not acceptable, emotional damage, absolute.
What it means: Seeing as dogs just go around doing a lot of different things based on how the previous moment feels, it is true that promises weaves freedom, like jingling leash ENABLES Leave, are no less than betrayal.
3. Dogs: “Where Did You Go?”
Text: “I can’t take this anymore, I already miss you. I might not survive this. Are you actually coming back?
What It Means: Regardless of whether you are gone for 30 seconds or 3 hours, to a dog losing you is all heart-wrenching agony.
4. Cats: “Do Not Disturb”
Text: “The audacity of people to wake me up at 3 AM for ‘zoomies’ but scream when I try to cuddle them. Incredible.
What It Means: Cats seem to follow their own set of time and will only allow you to love and pay affection to them during the precise slot that has been chosen by them beforehand.
5. Cats: “My Bowl is Empty (It’s Not)”
Text: “My bowl has been neglected and is devoid of sustenance. The imminent danger of starvation looms large. Oh… wait, I beg to differ. There’s food, but it’s NOT REFRESHING.
What It Means: Cats will always argue that, even if shelves are stocked, items should be replaceable with newer models at any time.
6. Cats: “The Box is Mine”
Text: You bought me a $50 bed, but it’s no match for this Amazon box. Stop wasting money and hand over the packing paper, too.
What It Means: Cats will always prefer the cheaper and more frivolous items over the expensive ones that were specially purchased for them. Accept it.
after all, there’s a whole science behind Why Cats love Boxes and find them more comforting than pricey beds.
7. Birds: “You Call This Enrichment?”
Text: “You gave me a ‘toy’ that looks like it was discarded from a dollar store, and you expect me to stand entertained? How ridiculous. I demand something shiny. Like your jewelry. Yes, those earrings you lost last week.
What It Means: Birds of a feather do indeed have a penchant for the finer things in life. If it isn’t expensive and a little dangerous, it’s simply not worth their time.
8. Fish: “Seen But Not Heard”
Text: “You forgot to feed me again. Of course, you remembered to feed yourself. Twice. Unbelievable.
What It Means: Silence does not equate to lack of feeling. These creatures may seem dull, but they do have emotions—especially when they are made to watch their owners snacking throughout the day, and then offered just a measly pinch of fish flakes.
9. Rabbits: “Personal Space Violated”
Text: “I gnaw ONE wire, and bam, I’m prohibited from that whole area? You nibble food all day, and nobody banishes you. Its bias.
What It Means: Rabbits have no boundaries. Anything that can be chewed is not off-limits. Charging cords better be hidden.
10. Reptiles: “Cold-Hearted Neglect”
Text: “You got yourself a dog, now all of a sudden I’m ‘low maintenance.’ Sure. Just because I don’t bark doesn’t mean I don’t require being warmed up, hooman.
What It Means: Silence does not equate to lack of love (and heat lamps) being desired.
11. Hamsters: “The Audacity”
Text: “You cackle when I tumble off my wheel, but when you trip on the stairs, it’s ‘a near-death experience.’ Explain this to me.
What It Means: Mouse sized but undeniably powerful, hamsters take cardio very seriously, and demand to be treated with a certain level of respect.
12. Horses: “I Am Not a Taxi”
Text: “Oh, you want me to carry you again? That’s cool. I’ll just stop walking halfway and see how you like it.
What It Means: Horses are strong, intelligent animals, and sometimes downright petulant. Forget to offer adequate treats, and they will remember.
Final Thoughts
As with anything, if something goes wrong or is overdone, it can have negative consequences. We might encounter strange attention seeking behaviors, and food complaints. Despite all this, our furry companions tolerate our shortcomings. After all, who wouldn’t agree dogs are the best companions?
EXTRA:
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